3 ways self-care can change the world
4 minute read
You’ve seen that over-instagrammed meme ‘Self-care isn't selfish’ right?
And whilst it absolutely makes me want to scratch my own eyes out, it is actually true.
By starting to slow down, taking more time for yourself in your garden and giving your busy brain a break from all that's rushing around in there, not only will you be happier and calmer. But every single person you come into contact with on a daily basis will be too. Imagine a society where joy and happiness are the prevailing emotions rather than anger, fear and frustration. Wouldn't that be bloody marvellous?
Here’s 3 ways that taking care of yourself will help us get there.
Your friends and loved ones
When those close to you see you starting to take more time for you in your garden they will likely think one of two things, ‘I wish I could do that, it’s alright for her she’s (insert excuse here)’ or they’ll think ‘ She’s inspired me to do the same, i’m going to get out in my garden and help my busy brain to switch off too’. And before you know it you’re a bloody influencer 😉
It might make you feel sad that the friends in the first camp are jealous of you, but once they start to see the positive impact that taking time for you to connect with yourself and Mother Nature is having on you, it won't be long before they’re itching to do the same. And guess what, you’ll be there to encourage them.
As your brain has a chance to rest and your happiness grows your interactions with those closest to you will be more joyful and meaningful. Instead of a quick whatsapp message between work meetings you will make time to engage with friends and your partner in a way that fosters connection and allows love to flow.
You’ll leave these interactions with that warm feeling in your stomach that will help you to weather the next tricky thing that life will throw at you, because believe me it will. Your outlook on life will be more positive and this will filter into all your day to day interactions. With your boss, your colleagues, the postman, and even the garden centre assistant when you go to restock on compost (again)!
Positivity is infectious. And i'm not talking about this toxic positivity bullshit. I’m talking about that feeling deep down inside that you get when you are doing something you adore or you have an interaction with someone that lights you up.
I’d like you to consider two scenarios for me:
1) You rush into the post office at a million miles an hour with a package to post. The queue is huge and each person in front of you seems to be taking an age.
You stand in line impatiently tapping your feet and huffing.
As you get to the front of the queue you can see the lady behind the counter is stressed and flapping. You stroppily hand over the package and bark your requirements at her.
You leave the post office still feeling frustrated and the lady feels even more flustered and stressed out.
2) You rush into the post office at a million miles an hour with a package to post. The queue is huge and each person in front of you seems to be taking an age.
You take a few deep breaths and smile at the person in front of you in the queue.
This sparks a conversation about the weather which leads to you discussing your gardens and what you are hoping to grow this summer. You both recount fond memories of summers gone past and gardening triumphs and failures.
As you get to the front of the queue you can see the lady behind the counter is stressed and flapping. You smile and ask her to post your parcel. You engage with her about how busy she is and say that you hope she manages to have a cup of tea and get out in the sunshine later on.
As you go to leave you thank her, smile and say that you hope she has a lovely and hopefully quieter rest of the day.
You leave the post office feeling calm and content and both people you interacted with have that warm glow of connection and compassion with them for the rest of the day.
It took you no extra time, but it changed the rest of the day for yourself AND those people you came into contact with.
This is fucking powerful, you have the ability to influence another person’s day and make it more joyful simply by taking a breath and connecting with them.
When you give yourself zero time to rest and feel like you always have to be ‘on’ Scenario 2 feels impossible, so guess what, Scenario 1 happens every time.
By giving yourself time to switch off in your garden, you discover the headspace that when confronted with a frustrating situation, will enable you to stop, take a breath and engage in a way that brings both parties happiness.
We can start this right-to-rest revolution but it is our children who can carry the mantle forward and enact real change.
Children are not born with a need to constantly be on the go (although it feels like it sometimes).
My two year old will often take herself off for ‘quiet time’ when she's feeling worn out or she’ll sit down and say to me ‘I’m just having a rest Mummy’.
And I think to myself ‘bloody ace, I’ll do the same!’
But seriously, children learn by copying what they see. So if they see you constantly on the go, never ‘just having a rest’ or taking any time for yourself they will think that is what is expected of them.
By modelling to your kids that Mummy is having some time for her (with zero guilt) and allowing her busy brain to find some headspace in her jam packed week they learn that not only is it ok to rest but that it's actually necessary.
Kids see everything. They see that you are quicker to snap when you haven’t had a break, they also see that you are able to engage and interact with them more fully when you have had that time to yourself filling up your cup in the garden.
As a woman you have so much power to help, grow and raise up other women simply by taking care of yourself first. It is your time to learn to start gently applying the brakes so you can start to slow down and give yourself a chance to breathe.
If you want someone in your corner to make that happen whilst enabling you to still feel productive at the same time then come and work with me. It's your Time to Bloom. You can book a free no-pressure enquiry call here.