What's your purpose?

I have been sowing A LOT of seeds in the garden recently (so many in fact that I’ve started dreaming about sowing seeds!) and the other day when marvelling at the different shapes of the seeds I was sowing it got me thinking.

The sole purpose of those little seeds is to germinate and grow into a new plant, so the plant can flower to get pollinated and then set seed to start the cycle again.  How delightfully simple to have your purpose so clearly mapped out for you.

purple and green chive plant self seeded in between the patio slabs in front of a red brick wall

Whilst I was there mindfully sowing, I started thinking about my purpose. 

By no means has it been clear to me from the start, in fact it’s ever changing, ever evolving based on the things I go through, the people I meet and the experiences I have.

I used to think my purpose was rooted in the job I did.  Naturally a people pleaser and always determined to do everything to the best of my ability I worked hard at school, university and then fought to get my dream job working as a forensic scientist. 

The job allowed me to give something back, using the skills I’d learnt to help the victims of crime to discover the truth about what had happened to them.  I loved the fast pace of the work but after 7 years the constant feeling of being ‘on’ and being exposed to the horrible things people do to each other started to take its toll on my mental health. 

My anxiety was at an all-time high and I needed a way to relax at the end of the day.  I found gardening.  It soothed my wired brain and begun to repair my slightly damaged soul.  I started to get a glimpse of the old me back again.

A year or so later I discovered I was expecting my first baby.  As well as a tonne of anxiety, this brought about a huge change in mindset.  My purpose didn’t need to be linked to the job I was doing.  I was so much more than just my day job. (Disclaimer- this wasn’t an overnight realisation, it took me a lot of time, panic and many sleepless nights to get to this new way of thinking).

I navigated the early days of motherhood with a large amount of anxiety and second guessing but we soon found our rhythm and I began to feel more comfortable in my ability to care for my mini me and teach her the ways of the world.  I did find maternity leave rather unstimulating mentally and my brain led me back to thinking about my purpose.  Could there be something else I was put on this earth to do?

Throughout the 9 months away from the office my garden was my go to place once hubby got back from work, I pottered, weeded and generally felt more relaxed and grounded in nature 

yellow poppies and a foxglove plant growing on a stone wall

The cogs started turning, how could I package up the wellbeing benefits of gardening and bring them to those who might want to find a little headspace just as I had?

I started small, offering courses and doing some local events selling festive wreaths I made, but I soon realised that I was limited by distance.  I could only ever reach and help people in my immediate vicinity.

So I went back to my purpose.  I didn’t want to limit this to just the lovely folk of Reading and the surrounds.  I started thinking about how I could ‘Go Global’ (thanks @selfishmother and her masterclasses for the kick up the bum).

Hubby and I are a huge fan of Hello fresh boxes and I rave about them to everyone (so bloody convenient, tasty and fun- ha)!  I was chatting with a friend one day about my desire to spread the Adventures with Flowers message and she piped up with ‘How about something like Hello Fresh?’.  With that little phrase right there she’d planted the seed that grew in to Mind in Bloom Box (sorry couldn’t resist the gardening reference!)

So what about you?

stone path edged by bricks on one side and wooden posts on the other

It’s all too easy to charge through life at a hundred miles an hour and its often not until someone asks you what you want to do in your life that you actually stop to think about it.

So I’m here, asking you.  What is your purpose?  What do you want out of your time here on earth 

At the minute it might feel like your sole purpose is to be used as an emotional punching bag by a small human trying to figure out their way in the world.  Or perhaps like I did, you feel your purpose is to give your all to your job, the harder you work the more you’ll earn the higher you’ll get up the tree.  I get it, I’ve been there, but I’m here to tell you, you are allowed another purpose, you are allowed to dream and to have something just for you.

It doesn’t have to be grand, it might be that right now the only thing that feels achievable is to try and get through the day without bursting into tears, or to just be able to have an hour to yourself to drink a hot coffee and read a book.  Your purpose is ever evolving and in time you might decide you want to learn to paint, to experience life in another country, even run a marathon. 

But the point is, it’s what YOU want out of YOUR life!

My parent’s generation believe that once you have a baby you don’t get any time for yourself anymore, that your purpose in life is solely to care for your child.  I don’t agree.  How am I to care for my little one if I’m not well myself?  I don’t see anything wrong with taking an hour for myself once a day whilst the small person is hanging out with her Dad.  In fact, I don’t think I would have survived without that daily hour.  It has allowed me to know who I am, what my dreams are, for me and for her and how I can start on the road to achieving them.

I’ve found that by giving myself permission to empty my head of everyone else’s needs, wants and demands the more I’ve become clearer about what I want out of life.

So grab a pen and piece of paper and write down all the things you love and want more of in your life, choose one or two and then try and see how you can fit more of them into your life.  Start slowly.  It might be that you need to ask your (insert relevant family member/ friend here) to watch the kids for an hour each week, or that you might need to leave the office an hour earlier once a week.  Its only 1 hour out of 168 in a week- you absolutely deserve to give yourself that time.

Now here’s the key, once you choose your two things, action them.  Sign up to that class, add your hour to the family calendar because if you don’t, guess what, it won’t happen.

Book in an hour with yourself every month or so to empty your head and check back in with yourself, did you achieve that hot coffee and a few chapters of a book?  Has your purpose evolved and changed?  What’s your new purpose?  What can you do to move closer to it?

For now, I’m headed back to my purpose, teaching my little one to be kind and generous with her time (and her toys) and trying to improve the nations mental health through gardening and floristry.

I’ll let you know how I’m getting on in a months’ time………

If your wants include flowers, headspace, beauty or gardening then I’m your woman and you can find out more here.

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published