3 ways to use connection to give yourself some time off over Christmas
4 minute read
We’re nearly there, many of us still working, frantically wrapping presents and heading to the supermarket to get the last bits of food. You so wish you could make sure that you’ll get a bit of time off over Christmas and certainly this year it may be easier than most to physically do not alot, but mentally we’re going to be busier than ever. Here are 3 ways that you can use connection to find that headspace over Christmas.
Connect with yourself
We’re all so busy so much of the time that we rarely take a minute to stop and ask ourselves ‘What do I want?’
This Christmas take yourself off for 10 minutes and sit quietly. Imagine allowing yourself an hour a day to do whatever YOU want. The only rule, it has to be something just for you (No bringing the kids/ dogs/ partner along for the ride).
Take a pen and paper and write down all the things you want to do with your daily hour.
Start each line with the words ‘I want’.
Feels a bit scary right? To ask for what you want.
For too long women have been conditioned to believe that it's uncouth, not attractive, even undesirable to ask for what they want.
Well I say ‘Fuck that’. The reason so many of us put ourselves last on the list is because we bow to what everyone else wants. Enough is enough.
Perhaps you’ve put your needs last for so long that you’re not even sure what you want anymore.
That was me, so I know how fucking scary it is. When I was feeling so utterly disconnected and wondering who the hell I was, I reached for something that offered a simple way to connect and a grounding energy, my garden and Mother Nature.
Connect with Mother Nature
It's very hard to be in Mother Nature and not feel connected. I don’t mean as you're walking to your car in the mornings or heading to the shop to grab a pint of milk.
I mean purposefully being in nature for no other reason than to switch off.
This could look like a walk, planting some sweet pea seeds or bulbs or just sitting in your garden with a cuppa and noticing.
The noticing really is the key here whatever you choose to do. People often say ‘There’s nothing going on in my garden in the Winter’ and whilst I agree that the garden is having a well earned rest (we all bloody need one of those don’t we babe!) If you look closely there are signs of Mother Nature doing her thing all around you.
The leaves falling from the trees, the worms working hard in the soil to break down all the old plant material, the birds digging about in the ground for said worms. It's all part of that beautiful cycle.
We just need to take a few moments to slow and notice. And a bit like Pringles (a fave snack in this house by the way) once you pop you just can’t stop.
You’ll start to notice signs of life all around you.
As women who struggle to switch off we can draw an important lesson from Mother Nature, which is that we MUST have a period of rest in order to come back stronger, more alive and vibrant than we were before.
Many of us are missing this rest element, so is it any wonder we feel exhausted and disconnected from what we want?
So what are you doing to rest this Christmas? (HINT: choose something from the wants list and unapologetically go for it).
Connect with those around you
If you are still feeling reluctant to proclaim what you want and actually do it, hear this.
It takes courage to change habits that have been formed over long periods of time. Everyone around you has got used to you sacrificing your own needs for theirs, so the minute you tell them ‘I’m off for a walk on my own’ or ‘I’m going to lie down on my bed and read for an hour’. They look at you like you’ve grown a third head.
This is where it's easy to falter.
So I have a solution for you. And that is to connect with them first.
By this I don’t mean sit and watch a film together whilst you're still scrolling through your phone.
I mean really connect. Phones away, get the board games out or do some colouring together. Something that really requires you to be present in the moment with them.
Before you start, clearly state what is going to happen i.e. ‘we're going to play this game together for an hour and then I'm going to go and [insert chosen want here] for an hour’.
Once it's time for you to go and do your thing there'll be no sideways glances and you won't feel as guilty for taking that time for you.
Our brains like to have information, so the more upfront you are about what you want and how things are going to work the less questioning you’ll have.
It's important to mention here that there will still be some guilt (Rome wasn’t built in a day my darling) but it will lessen each time you do it.
If this feels difficult to do, it's because it is. But if you’d like some more practical tips and ways to help shift your mindset around taking more time for yourself then you need to join my free training series ‘How to switch off through mindful gardening, even if you struggle to find time for yourself’. We’re starting 4th January 2021. You can sign up for it here.